Adventures in the Bathtub
by Kanthia
Summary: After all those battles, a person's going to end up smelling bad. Of course, if you can't function in the water then you're going to need help cleaning up, right? [ZoLu]


And this is how Kanthia started the most ambiguous yaoi she has ever written.  
One Piece and all related characters belong to Toriyama Akira.  
...Kidding. You can wake up from your shock-induced coma now. One Piece is actually Oda-sensei's and also sort of Toei Animation-related, but not 4Kids. If anyone ever told you 4Kids owned One Piece they were wrong.

Nee. Enjoy the extreme amounts of yaoi, Zoro acting weird and various Luffy dances in:   
**Adventures in the Bathtub: Zoro Gives Luffy a Freaking Bath  
**...Because you know you want it, and because he'd be over the side of the ship if he didn't.

* * *

He was used to strange requests. It came with being Luffy's first mate.  
But nothing like this.  
"You want me to _WHAT?_" The weights he had been holding in his hands fell to the deck with a clatter, jarring him out of shock and surprise.  
"Ne. Nami said I had to or else she'll throw me into the sea." His captain hopped impatiently from foot to foot.  
"So take a shower."  
"But we use _sea_water in the shower."  
"Get Sanji, then. Bastard's probably been dreaming about doing it."  
"But Sanji's making dinner! Meat! Meat! Mea—"  
Zoro tried to still his thumping heart while his captain began to dance around in circles, repeating his favourite word. The reality of the situation suddenly came crashing down on our unfortunate green-haired swordsman.  
"YOU WANT ME TO _BATHE_ YOU?"

* * *

The sad thing was that it made sense. Only God knew how long it had been since his captain had taken a bath, and fresh water was too rare to bathe in. Sea water. It never really hit him how dangerous taking a freaking bath was to his captain.  
"Zorrrrro!"  
He sighed. Might as well get it over with as quick as possible. Wouldn't want his captain drowning in the bathtub, that weird smoky Marine guy would probably choke on his cigars from laughing. 

Besides, Nami would probably collect the bounty.

"Zorrrro! Come quick! The ship is overflowing!"Sighing, he grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom. Luffy pointed to the plug that allowed water to run into the tub, saying something about the ship sinking and there being no more meat.  
The swordsman groaned and stuck the plug back in. This was going to be harder than he thought.

* * *

Silence.  
"You…take your clothes off. Before getting in the bathtub."

* * *

At least his captain had the sense to leave his boxers on. Zoro had no clue what he would do if Luffy demanded to be stripped fully, as he sometimes did for no reason in the middle of the day (Nami would later tease Zoro for the supposed blush on his cheeks).  
"Okay. Get in the tub." He never thought he'd see the day when he'd say that.  
"Nee. Hold me."  
"WHAT?"  
"If you don't, I'll slip and fall into the tub and go like this down the drain." His captain started to do some sort of dance that involved a lot of spinning. This dance soon became an old favourite, the meat dance (most dances turned into the meat dance, like the nakama dance and the Marines are Coming dance).  
He'd held swords before. He'd even held women before, but never had he ever been in this position.  
"Okay. Fine."  
Luffy began to do the 'Zoro said Okay' dance.

* * *

The Devil was true to his word. The minute Luffy's toe touched the salty water, his body sagged and crumpled into Zoro's arms- forcing the swordsman, who had been supporting his captain under his arms, down to his knees from the sudden weight. 

There was a long pause as he shifted onto his knees and used his teeth to pull back the sleeves of his shirt.  
_So…what do I do now?_  
Sanji would know what to do. He'd done it for Nami when she was hurt in a storm and couldn't stand up straight for a week, so why did the captain insist on being bathed by his first mate?

He looked so peaceful. His eyes were closed, his body limp and heavy and paralysed by the strange curse the Devil had condemned him to. There was no movement in his tiny body; his pulse was slow and his breathing, shallow. There were tiny bloodstains and barely visible cuts lining his arms, unnoticed and untreated. At least, the swordsman thought, he knew what to do with those.

There was a washcloth sitting on a shelf nearby. Shifting his weight to support his captain with one arm, he grabbed it and dipped it into the slightly dirty water, wincing for his captain who would not be able to cry out from the pain of salt in his wounds.

With gentleness almost alien to the taught muscles in his arms, Zoro began to clean out his captain's injuries. The circular motion quickly fell into rhythm as time passed.

Unlike his first mate whose skin was heavily calloused from long hours of physical conditioning, Luffy's skin was smooth and had a strange softness to it, almost having the malleability of rubber. If it were not for the firm muscle underneath, it most certainly would be as pliable as the rest of him.

He'd often wondered how Luffy's body worked. Someone who ate so much meat and hardly ever trained wouldn't have a body so finely toned as the rubber captain. And how toned it was- though his arms were thin and gummy and hid their veritable hoard of power, his chest (Zoro began to clean the blood from this same area, perhaps spurring the thought) flowed cleanly from pectoral to abdominal, a cache of solid muscle resting on his stomach.

He began to clean off the blood from said abdominal area, leaning over Luffy's shoulder without really thinking of his position.He was barely aware of Luffy stirring out of his Demon-induced slumber, beginning to slip in and out of consciousness. Not until he felt an unfamiliar sensation on his lips and half-paralysed arms straining to pull him in closer.

Minutes passed, fireworks.

* * *

They parted for air.  
"Arigatou, Zoro." His captain fell back to sleep. 

Maybe giving him a bath wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

_And that is how Kanthia ended what is perhaps the most ambiguous yaoi she has ever written._  



End file.
